In Your Eyes
by Risachu
Summary: Bellatrix had always thought her wedding would be the happiest day of her life. And it could have been, if only she could let herself forget him. ONESHOT. Rodoluphus/Bellatrix/Voldemort Love Triangle.


Looking into my bedroom mirror, I see myself dressed up in white, my long, black curls mostly pinned up, with a few loose ringlets hanging down. I refuse to correct them; it doesn't matter to me at all how I look today. I scoff at the dress my mother has chosen for me: snow white, backless, long-sleeved. A black dress would more truthfully express today, my last day as Bellatrix Black. Tears threaten to fall from my eyes, but I hold them back. No sense crying over something as trivial as this business arrangement of a marriage.

I hadn't cared at all before. I had fully intended to marry Rodolphus with no regret in my heart. After all, he was good looking, pureblooded, and had a fairly interesting personality. I even thought to have loved him. But that was before I met _him._ Before _he _opened my eyes, changing everything I had thought to know about life in an instant. The man who I truly…

I push the feeling down. That wasn't something I was ready to admit, especially to myself.

The face reflected in my mirror resembles my sister's. Andromeda could understand this feeling more than anyone. I almost regret all the times I had poked fun at her love for that Tonks boy, but upon thinking his name I can't help but gag. How could someone from our family even stand the sight of such filth? To fall in love with a mudblood… how sickening. Even so, I can understand her desire to choose her own husband.

Andromeda suddenly appears beside me in the mirror, her smile almost too wide for her face.

"Mum was right, that dress looks beautiful on you!" She beams as if it was her to be married. I feel a scream climbing its way up my throat, but quickly swallow it back down.

"If you say so," I mumble through gritted teeth. Her smile disappears at once.

"Bella?"

"What?" I snap.

She winces, but slowly the smile she once had finds its way back to her lips, "Your hair's falling down, let me fix it for you," she reaches toward me but I knock her hand away.

"I don't understand, Bella, are you nervous?"

I snort, "Nervous? Nervous?" somehow I find myself laughing hysterically. "Oh, Dromeda, I can barely contain the 'butterflies in my stomach!'" My voice drips sarcasm. I turn away from my younger sister, who from the corner of my eye, I see slowly backing away. "I'm so worried Roddy won't like my dress!" I give a mocking gasp, "What if the guests notice the table cloths don't match the curtains?"

Rage slowly begins to flow through me, igniting in my blood like a match to gasoline. I spin around to look my sister full in the eyes. Her eyes dart away to rest on the floor. "You think I'm nervous?" I can no longer control the mass of anger that, until now, had been secretly burning in my heart. I scan the room for something, anything I can rip apart to make real this unbearable feeling that has come over me. I begin throwing brushes and books, overturning my chair and nightstand, destroying anything I can get my hands on in my whirlwind-like tantrum. From the corner of my eye, I see Andromeda reach out to me, as if by reflex, but suddenly, she shrinks back, deciding instead to wait for me to return to my senses.

Then, I discover, stuck in the corner of my mirror, a small photograph of my fiancé, Rodolphus, wearing his emerald green quidditch robes, broomstick by his side, waving and smiling at a crowd of applauding Slytherins. A younger, smiling version of me bounds into frame, throws her arms around his neck, kisses him, and throws her head back with elated laughter. Looking at this girl, my eyes well with disdain. I rip the photograph from its resting place and it instantaneously becomes consumed by my conjured flames. They soon begin to lick at my fingers, but I keep the picture clutched on my hand, I want to feel the memory turn to ash in my palm.

"Bellatrix!" I hear my sister's scream and remember she is still standing in the corner of the room. I drop the now ashen photograph to the floor.

"Nervous," I breathe, allowing the storm inside me to finally settle. "How I'd love to be 'nervous!' No, I'm furious! I'm- I'm absolutely—"

"Terrified..?" Andromeda suggests her voice hardly more than a whisper.

She understood. She, after all, would also be turning 17 not too long from now, and forced to marry someone chosen for her, forever apart from the man she loved. Tears welling in my eyes, I fling myself into my sister's arms. She holds me tight, comforting me.

The door opens and my youngest sister skips inside, positively glowing. I almost want to smack her. Her face suddenly falls as she beholds my newly redecorated room. Her eyes fall on Andromeda and me, still embraced in the middle of the room, "Are you nervous or something Bella?" Andromeda flinches as I swallow my newly forming anger and release her.

"No Cissy. I'm not nervous."

Her smile reforms but is soon replaced by a look of horror as she notices the condition of my hair. She hurries over to fix my fallen curls, and I do not protest. After all, this wedding is more for her than it is for me.

Already it is time to begin. I descend the polished, wooden staircase, hair pinned properly in place, flanked by my younger sisters on each side. I swallow hard, taking in the crowd gathered at the base of the stairs. I see friends and family all bubbling with excitement. Mum is crying in my father's arms, his eyes hold mine; all I can see in them is pride. I feel sick to my stomach. How can they delude themselves into thinking I share in their happiness? I resist angry tears as I realize I've reached the base of the stairs. Andromeda and Narcissa have quit my side, and I am alone.

I see Rodolphus then, waiting at the back of the room, where now stood a small, white platform. He stares into me, eyes filled with a love I wish I could return. The crowd that had gathered around the stairs now begins to take their seats.

The walk down the aisle is long. The music that accompanies me sounds like a death march. It seems hours have gone by before I reach the taunting platform, and Rodolphus takes my hands in his. I can make it through this. Even if I can't love him, I can do this. I can convince myself to be happy, just for a while, can't I?

I look out at the crowd and freeze. Standing behind the mass of faceless guests, still standing in the shadow of the staircase, I see him, his gaze absorbing all that I am. The small sense of relief I had leaves me at once. I can no longer breathe. His smile mocks me, cold and absent of anything even resembling love, and yet, it melts me in a way even the warmest smile from my fiancé never could. I am lost in him. Impulsively, I start to drift towards him, but I catch myself. He can't really be here. The Dark Lord has much more important things to do than attend weddings. I'm nothing to him, I'm not special. He sees me only as a pawn, so why would he be here? The mark branded on my arm burns his familiar presence, but I have to be deluding myself into feeling it. I should look away, but I'm afraid to let him disappear.

"Bella?" Rodolphus whispers. I turn slightly toward him, making sure I can still see my imaginary master out of the corner of my eye. My fiancé's smile is gone now, in its stay rests a look of worry. The wizard performing the ceremony, who I have only just noticed, looks at me expectantly.

He then slowly repeats, "Do you, Bellatrix Black, take this man…"

How long had I been standing here? A whisper floats over the crowd; all look confused except for my master, whose smirk is the widest I've ever seen. He looked to be on the verge of laughter. He knew why I hadn't been paying attention.

But he can't know, he isn't real!

Is he?

I hear the finishing words, "…for as long as you both shall live?"

I'd give anything to be able to tear my eyes away from my master, but I know the words could never form looking into the eyes of anyone else. So, I continue to stare deep into his cold eyes.

"I do."

My husband's face lights up as he takes my ring from where it had been suspended between us and places it on my finger. He then leans in and kisses me. My eyes remain open, fixed on the man in the corner whose smile now slightly falters. Excited by this small hint of jealousy, I close my eyes and return the kiss. The levitating candles surrounding the platform suddenly ignite. I break away from Rodolphus as the wizard standing beside us takes out his wand. A white stream of light flows from it and intertwines itself around our interlaced hands, connecting us. The ribbon of light slowly fades into our skin as cheers erupt from the crowd. I look to my master and see him smirk knowingly. I am disgusted with myself. And that's exactly what he wants.

Hands still intertwined, Rodolphus leads me through the crowd. My eyes search for my master, but can no longer find him. Maybe I _had_ only imagined him. Rodolphus stops to receive words of congratulations from his friends. Suddenly, I feel someone grab me roughly around the waist. I begin to turn but the familiar cool of his breath on the back of my neck freezes me. I feel his lips on the back of my neck as he speaks.

"Congratulations, _Lestrange._"

I feel my face burning with anger, embarrassment, and immeasurable desire. His laughter rings in my ears. I want to fall into him, but too soon he releases his grasp, and Rodolphus turns from his friends to lead me away. My eyes follow my master as he disappears into the crowd, forever out of my reach.


End file.
